Biblical Characteristics of Love; 1 John 3:18-20
1 John 3:18 NASB "Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.
1 John 3:19 NASB "We will know by this that we are of the truth…" In other words, by looking at your application of love based on doctrine you can know something. "…and will assure our heart before Him
This brings us to a key word, peitho [peiqw], the word for assurance here. It has to do with confidence and conviction, and that we have been convinced of something. So all of this has to do with some level of certainty in terms of our relationship with God. That is important because it takes us right back to 1 John 2:28: "Now, little children, abide in Him, so that when He appears, we may have confidence and not shrink away from Him in shame at His coming." What John is developing here is the idea that in order to have confidence and a level of certainty at His coming, and not to be ashamed, then we should be applying the principle of impersonal love in all of our relationships. That is a sign of growth, a sign of fellowship, and a sign that we have reached a level of maturity so that we will not be ashamed at the judgment seat of Christ, the evaluation judgment for all believers.
In contrast: 1 John 3:20 NASB "in whatever our heart [thinking] condemns us; for God is greater than our heart and knows all things." If we look at this standard, in other words, and realise we are not applying it then John reminds us that God is greater than our thinking, He knows all things. That is a reminder that there is still grace, there is still the opportunity to grow, and God is going to provide the doctrine and the growth mechanism through the Holy Spirit so that we can advance. Then, in contrast, 1 John 3:21 NASB "Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God." If we are still alive God has a plan for our life, no matter how we have screwed up. Our bad decisions are not greater than God's plan. We cannot definitely and finally screw up God's plan. We can recover. If we keep taking in the Word then recovery is possible and God's plan can be back in effect for our life as we begin to advance and to grow. That is the principle behind verse 20.
Some characteristics of impersonal love: Impersonal love emphasises the fact that you do not have to have personal knowledge of the object of love or personal relationship with the object of love, there fore your personal involvement with that person is not the issue.
1. Impersonal love is impossible but God doesn't mandate the impossible without providing the means of accomplishing it.
2. Impersonal love is the hallmark of the disciple, the growing believer. It is what distinguishes him.
3. Impersonal love is the basis for problem-solving in all human relations.
4. Impersonal love is the ability to accept people as they are, warts and all. It is not only the absence of mental attitude sins, the absence of prejudice, but it is also positively the presence of a genuine concern, regard and solicitousness for even those who may be treating us the worse.
5. Impersonal love will have no stability or strength without grace orientation and doctrinal orientation. Cf. Luke 10:25ff, the parable of the good Samaritan.
6. Biblical characteristics of love, 1 Corinthians 13. In the first three verses Paul sets up certain hypothetical situations. He is not saying that these things are possible, he is saying is that if you don't have love with these spiritual gifts, then it is irrelevant. Then he gives some attributes of love, vv. 4-6.
Now John is going to change the subject. 1 John 3:22 NASB "and whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do the things that are pleasing in His sight." He is going to address the issue of prayer.